Adventures in Mindfulness- On Fear & Homesickness

Thank you for reminding me about perspective, trust, optimism and hope, Aisho.

On the train to the airport, I think I lost myself lingering in thoughts of worry.

You know, from here it all seems so far away at times. This city is so far away from everything I have known before. History. I miss history. I miss certain sophistication of the so called old continent.  I miss The how-do-you-do’s-,  I miss men with impeccable shoes and  long socks, never white and never short please. I miss good art, good fashion. I miss certain snobberies that made me laugh. The solidfoundations that only come with history, and nothing else. Marble, facades, old building, monumental mansions.  

I miss my family, you know. My mamma and my papa’. So extravagant. So generous. So unique. Their eccentricities. And my friends. I miss my friends.

These past four years have been terrific. I am living an adventure that was meant to be. And still is. I am running an epic marathon, on my own. Going somewhere majestic. And yet, you know: sometimes I lose myself in thoughts and worries.

The rent.
And taxes to pay at the end of the year.
Will I be able to pay for Blanca's horse this month.
Will she be ok?

 

Big worries, you know. My Canadian adventure. Me in Canada, on my own.

 

So on my way to the airport, this is what I was thinking of. Until I saw you.

You were tiny, a little bird.

Invisible.

I did not not notice you, until you stood up in the train and I saw your white cane.

And you, stumbling.

You had no clue of where to go. You did not know that there was a pole in front of you, and steps ahead, and that the International arrivals are on the ground floor. Because you cannot see, or as you told me later, you see almost nothing. And you smiled. Way to go, radiant girl.

In the little time spent together you pierced my heart.

If you, my tiny friend, can go to the airport to pick up your parents, with your almost- blind eyes, then I have got this.

If you, as you say, can do it, because people here are so kind, then the world is a beautiful place.

If you are not scared, then neither shall I. And I will offer you my arm so that you can lean on it, and together we can navigate fear and together we can trust that all will be fine.

I hope you will use my business card, I hope that someone will read my name to you and that you will write to me, because I would love to see you again, and take you out for tea, and listen to you. You, tiny girl, courageous girl have pierce my heart. And I salute you.Thanks for reminding me about optimism, humour, trust. A mindful moment at the airport.